


hours and shadows

by sinequanon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hurt Stiles Stilinski, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 13:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17101202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinequanon/pseuds/sinequanon
Summary: Stiles’s horrible year is all Derek’s fault, but with any luck, Peter will make the next one better.





	hours and shadows

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about not posting yesterday; this is yesterday’s story, and I’ll be posting the first chapter of today’s story right after this, so keep an eye out for that.
> 
> Also, this was inspired by an unfinished Derek/Stiles fic that I’m too busy to go searching for right now. All I remember is that it had a long title and involved reincarnation and Derek rejecting Stiles. Thank you, unnamed author.

Sweet hours have perished here;

This is a mighty room;

Within its precincts hopes have played,

Now shadows in the tomb.

—poem CVII from _Complete Poems_ by Emily Dickinson

<> <> <> <>

It started with sight.

There were headaches that got progressively worse. Dizziness. Vision that went blurry in one eye, then the other, before everything faded to gray and then slid into black.

A part of him was scared, even though he knew what was happening, and had expected it. A part of him still believed it was his fault, even though he knew it wasn't.

He'd known the day that Braeden came to town that things were all over between him and Derek, planned bond or no. Braeden was older, prettier, and much more exciting than the boy that Derek had always known. Derek spent less and less time with him until they might as well have been strangers. Stiles had no idea what Derek was telling his parents about his new girlfriend, but by the time it got to that point Stiles had bigger problems.

In the beginning, Stiles had assumed that Derek would have had the decency to go to his parents and have them dissolve the bond between them rather than let it break. After all, childhood bonds were dissolved all the time—usually because the couple was no longer compatible—but breaking bonds was much more painful, even akin to spousal abuse in some states. Only the heartless and the mentally ill deliberately broke match bonds. Derek might be distracted at the moment, but Stiles was sure that there was no way that Derek would let things go that far.

Derek and Braeden ran off together on their seven week anniversary; the headaches started fifty-four days later.

Stiles thought about telling his dad, but he didn't want him (or the rest of the department) to worry. Stiles also thought about contacting Derek's parents, but the bond couldn't be dissolved without Derek present, and Stiles didn't want to worry them, or for Laura to show up on his doorstep. Derek might be an idiot, but he wasn't cruel; he wouldn't let Stiles suffer.

(The last time Laura had shown up unexpectedly at his place hadn't been pretty. Some of his neighbors were still avoiding him years later.)

Stiles managed to make himself an amulet that let him see, even if everything was slightly out of focus. It didn't stop the migraines, or the dizziness, or the blurriness, but at least he wasn't totally blind.

The deafness was gradual enough that he blamed it on tiredness, or earwax, or loud music, until it finally occurred to him what was wrong. There was an amulet for that, too, but it didn't work well with the other, so Stiles tended to wear only one of them at a time.

Derek had been gone for six months by then, and Stiles was losing his voice, arguably one of his most prominent characteristics. It was getting more difficult to hide from his family and friends, but he’d gone too far to break down now. Unfortunately, using laryngitis as an excuse for his lack of voice would only work for so long, especially when his dad kept asking him to bring Derek over for dinner.

Stiles doesn't bother with the charms when he's alone. At home, he lets himself be blind, and deaf, and mute, and tries not to think about what he might lose next. Sometimes, his hands shake, and that scares him more than the rest because he’s almost gotten comfortable with the stillness of the rest of him. Once the fevers start, he won't be able to hide, but at least his dad will be able to get away with blaming his condition on something other than mate abandonment, and it won't necessarily touch the Hales, either.

(Derek, though, could get hit by a bus, and Stiles wouldn't exactly be broken up about it. It wouldn't fix things, but at least it would stop them from getting worse).

The only way to fix things at this point would be to bond with someone else, but that wasn't easy to do when Stiles had basically become a hermit in order to keep his secret, and people hadn't exactly been lining up to get to know him before Derek had left.

Even if Stiles managed to find someone to bond with in his condition, it would take just as long, if not longer, to undo the damage that had been done. Very few people had the patience to deal with Stiles in good health; he could only cringe at what his recovery might look like.

(Two hundred and twenty days after Derek left, Stiles received a postcard in the mail. There was a beach scene on the front, an ironic “wish you were here” written over the top of the picture. On the back, Derek had scrawled a brief apology and the hope that Stiles would find someone to love him as much as he loved Braeden. Stiles left it on his coffee table with the rest of the junk mail.)

<> <>

Two hundred and twenty-five days after Derek left, Stiles started running a low grade fever to go with his headache and full-body tremors. He didn't bother getting out of bed, choosing instead to burrow into his blankets enjoy the quiet.

He knew that hiding under the covers wasn’t the best way to prevent the inevitable inquisition, but frankly, he didn’t really care anymore. Eventually, someone would come looking for him, and considering his dad, the deputies, and the Hales were all unrepentant snoops, the truth would come out. Soon.

Two hundred and twenty-eight days after Derek left, two Hales in particular stared poking their noses into Stiles’s business. It started with an unanswered call from Laura, who mentioned Stiles’s lack of response to the Sheriff, who, knowing Stiles, asked Laura to double check and make sure his son wasn’t up to something that the Sheriff would have to arrest him for. Peter, who greatly enjoyed Stiles’s propensity for drama, invited himself along while sending the younger man multiple warning texts.

Unfortunately, Stiles didn't hear the nearly constant chiming of his phone, or the insistent pounding on his door a half hour later. He only stirred when he felt a hand press lightly against his forehead. A second later, he felt the leather of one of his amulets slip over his head and he blinked blearily at the pair of werewolves in front of him.

“Peter? Laura?” Stiles's lips formed the words even though no sound came out. The two wolves were crouched on either side of him, a mix of concern and anger etched into their features. Laura held Derek's postcard in her fist while Peter carefully extricated Stiles from his blankets. The older wolf was saying something as he worked, and even though Stiles couldn't make out the words, he could still tell that the tone was meant to be soothing.

There was a sudden, sharp flare of pain across his palm as Laura grabbed his hand and drew a claw across it, and then Peter's bloody palm was pressed to his, and he thought he could hear Laura telling him to _get some rest, stupid_ before everything faded to a soothing sort of black.

<> <>

Stiles woke up a day later in the Hale house, with Peter's palm still pressed to his and Laura guarding the door. She came closer when she saw he was awake, and Stiles had gotten enough practice lip reading that he understood when Laura told him that they hadn't known, that everyone was looking for Derek, and that they were immeasurably sorry that this had happened. Laura might have also called Stiles an idiot, but he pretended he didn't hear that part.

Peter woke up in time to second Laura's opinions of both Derek and Stiles, and promised to keep feeding the temporary bond between them until Stiles had recovered and the pack had dealt with their wayward member. Stiles was both touched by the offer, and in no condition to refuse.

(In the meantime, it was a race between the Hales and the Sheriff's Department to find Derek. Stiles wasn't sure which option would turn out better for the runaway wolf, but he’d never seen his dad so bloodthirsty.)

The next few months were as long and exhausting as he had anticipated as he slowly recovered what he had lost. But Peter was with him when he tentatively breathed out his first clear words in months, as his hearing returned in fits and starts, as his vision got a little clearer. He held Stiles's hands even when they were shaking, and eased the headaches and the dizziness until Stiles was boneless with relief.

Slowly but surely, Peter inserted himself into all of the aspects of Stiles's life until it felt like he’d always been there, and Stiles couldn’t imagine his life without him. Four hundred and fifty days after Derek left, Talia dragged him home by his ear and made him apologize.

It didn’t really matter, though, because that place in Stiles’s soul that might have been filled up by Derek had long been claimed by Peter.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
